Where The Rubber Meets The Road

Just a few updates and some whining for now.

My sense of taste is almost gone. I can still taste a few things, but overall food is bland. And when you can't taste, chewing is well, not very enjoyable. I called my doctor's office about this and they said it is a normal side effect. They have a cookbook for me that should have some interesting textural dishes. We shall see about that. At the mere sight of a vegetable, I become like a vampire.

The insomnia is more intermittent. My straight male nurse Kyle put me on Ativan and it seems to be working somewhat. I can get like three hours of sleep now.

The movements have been happening more. Thanks to Mirilax for making such a wonderful product.

But now on the downside, I have been noting that I am making moves to become more isolated. I don't know why. But I am returning less texts, hardly getting on any social media, and just basically occupying my easy chair for the night.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, but it is some sort of defense mechanism that kicks in automatically. I know I should be more active, but the fatigue takes a toll on me. All I can do is sit and feel sorry for myself. That is until I see a person that is worse off than me - which is often - and I leave my pity party for the time being.

I know this is temporary. They caught it. I can get treatment. There are people in the world with life threatening problems. I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with life.

And the bills have finally started pouring in. THAT has also added to my insomnia. I worry all the time about the bills. Nate has assured me that all will be fine, but this condition is expensive to treat.

Oh, and I got a letter from UnitedHealthcare telling me I am approved for the time being, but I can be tapped out of the system once I hit the limits. THAT has me freaked out.

So no taste, intermittent insomnia and constipation, bills coming due, and bouts of instant fatigue. Yay cancer.

And this port is annoying me.

The ONE upswing is that I am losing weight. I know I am losing it the wrong way, but I have to have one point of light to hang my hat on.

I wish I had more positive news, but this is the reality of it.

I am binge watching past seasons of Survivor. Once I beat cancer, I have to know how to beat Survivor. Just wait until Jeff Probst gets a load of me.