Dr. Nicey Nice

Back to the Big Barnes Hospital to meet Dr. Weiss.

Of course he is in the Center for Advanced Medicine and of course I had to park on the roof.

To make matters worse his office is on the 14th floor and there are only six elevators to take and everyone crams into one box - one of my biggest pet peeves.

And of course there was one person that had to get off on every floor from 4-13.

And of course there is that one guy who thinks pushing the Close Door button works and pushes it every floor - idiot.

I may take the stairs next time. People are gross.

I anxiously wait in Dr. Weiss' waiting room and this lady of a certain age and I start talking about Prince Willam and his beautiful wife Kate. We also talk about how that scoundrel Harry got caught naked in Vegas. We then bashed millennials and how they are slaves to their phones.

The things cancer patients talk about. Stuff of dreams.

I got called in and had my vitals taken and WEIGHED AGAIN. Fuck it people, just so everyone knows - I weigh 247- mother fucking - pounds. Body by McDonalds.

They then took - and I can't make this up - SEVEN vials of my blood. Tests on top of tests on top of tests to be done.

I was then ushered into an examination room and started reading a People magazine from April of 2015. This doctor needs to step up his magazine game.

I then remember I downloaded Kindle to my phone and I had begun reading this book called, "The Nightingale." If anything positive comes out of this, my love of reading has re-emerged. I read a whole chapter and then the doctor comes in.

How can I describe Dr. Weiss? He is a wise, comforting soul. He is a gentleman of a certain age, he has a soft, velvety voice, and warm eyes. I instantly felt at ease with him. He discussed my results and told me I was going to start chemotherapy to shrink the golf ball logged in my lower back.

I had a list of questions for him and he answered every last one in laymen's terms. He never rushed me and I actually felt like we were having a back and forth conversation.

What stage am I? Stage 3, but it could be Stage 4. He isn't sure, but they treat both the same way.

What is the treatment for this type of cancer? A mix of two different type of chemo - one called Rituxan and one called Treanda.

I am going to have have a port installed in my chest which will make it easier to dispense the chemo and to get blood samples. I should have the port in my body for at least two years.

My first treatment will last for 6-8 hours and they will serve me lunch! I wonder if I can get any of that fly pizza I smelled before.

The goal is to reduce my chemo treatments over time to get me to "Observer" status.

They can't cure this kind of cancer, but they can "control" it and monitor it.

I will be able to work during my treatment. Dr. Weiss said that would probably be the best form of therapy for me. He can tell I am a people person and how much I love my job.

He then physically examined me. I don't want this to go weird, but he has the softest hands I have ever encountered. His soothing voice combined with his soft touch made me feel like I was floating on a cloud.

He commented that he could feel my lymph nodes and how exciting it was. I said, "Maybe for you! But not for me!"

I asked him more questions about the port and he said it will have a catheter that will go in my neck. So then I asked, "So will I be a Jem'Hadar"? (Google it bitches!) He didn't get the reference and I told him it was from Star Trek: DS9. He told me he wasn't familiar with that, but he was a science fiction fan.

He told me I have an excellent attitude and that is 90% of the battle. He seemed positively giddy about my prognosis. He thinks I will respond to the treatment excellently and he has only the highest hopes for me.

I think I will have to have a treatment ever 2-3 weeks and then go to once a month.

So I just get to sit on my ass and read. I think I can deal with this.

So there you have it folks, you are all up to date. Please check back here often for updates. I will try to post when something significant happens or if I have any more "feelings."

I do want to say this. I love my husband and my friends for taking such good care of me. Every time you text me asking me how I am doing or how I am feeling, my heart sings. I cannot do this alone and I am going to need all of you at one time or another.

I have my moments when my fear takes over and I start to cry, or when I have rage fits and I just want to be negative. Please just bear with me. This is just me having to deal with life.

One final question - is there an Adult Make-A-Wish foundation? I want to go on Survivor.